My momma and my momma’s momma (Nana) sat down over wine and talked about life and motherhood. I can think of no better way to celebrate Mother’s Day than digging deep with laughs and even some tears.
What is the best thing about being a mom?
MOM – Seeing your kids becoming a better person than you are and more successful. Because that’s what you want as a parent.
NANA – I would have to agree. I think there’s incredible fulfillment in seeing your children become contributing high functioning human beings.
MOM – What I’ve learned from you guys that I wish I would have learned when I was younger is to follow your passion and somehow discover that before you’re middle aged.
What was the hardest thing about being a mom? The most rewarding?
NANA- The hardest thing about being a mom is not feeling like you did everything that you could have done. Also dealing with your own measurements of your abilities as a mom. The most rewarding is seeing the fruits of your labor. Your kids don’t grow up to be good people by accident. They don’t just happen to become responsible, contributing, loving people. They’re formed into that.
MOM- The hardest thing is the worry. It doesn’t stop. I’ve heard that it’ll never stop. Sometimes you have to let your kids go through difficult times. I’ve learned with different experiences how much you get involved and how much you don’t.
NANA- And seeing your child in pain. Physical, emotional pain. It’s like someone’s cutting your arm off.
How did being a mom changed you?
NANA – For me, I became a mom so young that I don’t know who I am as an adult not being a mom. So I don’t know that I can say that it changed me. It’s just part of who I am.
MOM – I think it made me more focused and responsible and I had a purpose. But I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. But I always thought I would have three kids. Two boys and a girl.
NANA – Right. Me too. I just got an extra boy. Boys are less drama than girls, but harder to keep alive. (laughs)
As a mom, what was one of your most proud moments?
NANA – WOW I’ve had SO many. My cup runneth over if you will. My kids have made me proud in a million ways a million times.
MOM – I would agree. I can’t pick just one
Favorite motherhood story?
MOM – I don’t have a particular story but I think seeing the different personalities that you and Ryan have. You’re more outgoing but Ryan is a little more reserved. And then how you were into dance and choreography really young and that was it and you stuck with it. Ryan was so different. He would try everything and finally settled on football.
NANA – I definitely have favorite memories for each of my kids. There are so many funny stories that come to mind.
If you could go back to any decade, where would you go back and why?
MOM – I would say the 90’s. That’s when our family was born. It was just such a fun time.
NANA- A lot of good things happened in the 90’s
MOM- Even in the documentaries you watch, even in terms of world events it was pretty calm.
NANA- You got married, I got married, Allie was born, Rylee was born, Ryan was born. We built a house. The 90’s were good.
MOM – And we didn’t have phones. We didn’t have any money to speak of but it was good. We had so much fun. Lots of laughs. It just seems like life was a lot simpler then.
If you could go back and give advice to your 20 something self-what advice would you give?
MOM – I think I would have said a couple of things. Forget about the boys. Go off, go way to college, and travel. I couldn’t imagine going to New York City at age 20. It just never crossed my mind. I love the idea of traveling, I just hate flying. But I would say go out there.
NANA – The grass isn’t greener. Nobody has the right to keep you in a place for their own convenience. Ask for help.
So would you consider yourself a perfectionist and how do you deal with that?
NANA- I think I used to be a perfectionist. I used to be really hard on myself and really hard driving in every aspect of my life. Then life slapped me around a little bit. Now I just roll with it. I’ve adopted the “The world won’t end if I don’t do this perfectly.” I’ll do my best and it’s not worth killing myself over.
MOMMA- I try and focus on my goals and what I’m doing. I just try and reel it back in. Still definitely a perfectionist but I try and prioritize.
How do you stay inspired?
NANA – I’m mostly inspired by great ideas. Just innovative, great shit. It just energizes me. I love big thinking out-of-the-box shit that works. It’s gotta work though. If it doesn’t work then it’s not a great idea. Its intoxicating for me.
MOMMA – I have to say I’m kind of going through a period right now where I’m really trying to get that inspiration. I went through burnout. Massive burnout in the last two years. Now I’m kind of working on what inspires me now.
NANA – Sometimes that takes work and it’s really hard. You wouldn’t think so. But sometimes it takes some real soul searching.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the fabulous mommas out there!